Monday, 19 January 2009

My Grandmother Ran Into a Mosque

You learn a lot of things when you go home for the holidays. My grandmother, bless her little heart, has never been the creme de la creme of drivers. I remember sitting in her car, age 8, long blond hair in braids with big glasses, and Tata patting my leg, and saying her eyes are a little fuzzy - would I be so kind as to tell her when the light turns green?

Fast forward 16 years, having dinner with my dad and uncles, minding my own business, when I hear snippets.

'...received a letter from the insurance company...'
'...investigating a case on 16th September...'
'...leaving the scene of the accident...'
'...caught on camera...'

Jebus, Tata was involved in a hit and run, and to this day insists nothing happened (despite being captured on film).

So at Christmas, I mention to my cousins...did you hear about Tata's hit and run!

'No, but it can't be any better than when she ran into the mosque' And they were right. Apparently, my grandmother had put the car in reverse, but out of nowhere the car lurched (her word, my emphasis) foward, crashing through the mosque wall. Now, a normal person may think she perhaps wasn't actually in reverse, maybe she was in drive, and, perhaps she took her foot off the break and onto the accelerator. Alas, this, Tata says, is not the case, and my uncle spends several hundred (thousand?) dollars to discover what could possibly make the car lurch forward, into her weekly place of worship. Surprise surprise, there was nothing wrong with the car.

Moral of the story? If a granny is asking an 8 year old girl in 1992 what colour the stoplight is, she really really shouldn't be behind the wheel 16 years later...

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